26 Oct

I adore the summer. Something about the memory of being a child and reveling in school vacation. In the summer, I walked barefoot, went swimming and felt carefree. 

When the weather shifts here in new England, I retract and sadness lurks within. I resist closing the doors and windows in denial that the cool weather is coming. My shoes go back on and the joys found at the beach and of walking on  the warm grass quickly disappear. 

But then the autumn arrives, and I feel the exciting energy of the moments of darkness,  crispness brought on by the  evening sky and  the surrounding harvests. Of course there is the beauty of deciduous trees with the glory of their colors and the reminder of the release, the quiet and ultimately the rebirth that lies ahead.  

One of my favorite autumn memories is when my daughters were small. There was a very large oak tree outside of the church which housed the Ballet studio where they took class. When the dancing was done, we would go out to the tree and lie under it and watch those leaves fall around us. We would play and make leaf angels and of course run after the falling leaves. Who could spy the first one to fall? Who would catch the red one? The yellow one? 

I can relive that time in a moment. The sound of the leaves and the laughter of children, the stunning background of the bright blue sky and feel of the cool breeze,  just enhanced the experience. 

Thinking now about the shift of seasons, I wonder  how much of this is about the struggle of accepting transition and change in general. How often I desire to remain in the comfort of the familiar, of routine and the belief that this is the only moment in which I can feel happiness. 

 I continue to work on receiving transition and this beautiful move into autumn is a helpful reminder that I can shift and accept life changes.  I do so without control, at least 4 times a year as the seasons shift.

 I recently went to the beautiful Hillstead Museum in Farmington CT and I played under one of their amazing autumn leaf trees, without the accompaniment of children, and had a similar experience of joy and happiness. Here I was surrounded by the mountains which were covered in vibrant fall color, and I allowed myself to dance solo among the leaves. Briefly I relived the joy and the abandon of that child embracing summer. 

It is in this moment,  I can remember that autumn IS a magical time, one worthy of following summer. There is rarely a loss without a gain. I appreciate the fallen leaves and all that comes with the Autumn. 

And though I am back in my shoes, I can still take in the wonder of nature and revel in the beauty and joy the earth offers, and accept that though I may now be in love with this change, next year I might still feel the same fear. The movement from Summer to Fall. But I will be armed with the understanding that this moment of dread will quickly be replaced by the excitement brought on by each new transition. 

How do you welcome or manage life transition?

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